Violent Video Games and Society (Part One)

There’s a dialogue for the play about this, although I haven’t totally worked it out yet. Maybe I should just bitch in my blog? Hell, that’s what I usually do anyway, so why mess with tradition?

If you’ve been watching the news as of late, you might have seen some increased public scrutiny towards video games. Like many issues, this one has entered a cycle of on-and-off interest, much like concern for greenhouse gasses or endangered animals. My first brush with the whole controversy was in my youth when Mortal Kombat and Night Trap (a shitty game for the Sega CD) ignited a huge burst of public interest, with Senator John McCarthy pushing for increased censorship in videogames. Video games had become too violent, or so was their argument, and it was time for the government and every right thinking person in America ™ to step up and set this thing right. Little did I know as my mind rushed towards defenses for my beloved pass-time that almost a decade before there was similar (if not quite as big) backlash towards a game loosely based off the movie Death race 2000, where players moved a car around, running over ‘zombies’. At that point, the graphic were crude, the legions of the undead being represented by stick figures, and later to small gravestones after the player as had his way with them. That monochromic game, without a hint of blood sent people into an uproar. Similar was the reaction to an Atari VCS (or 2600) game- “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” which had players taking the role of the demented chainsaw wielding Leather Face. The game in truth was about as scary as adult Atari games were arousing, but it was still quickly banned.

In my politics class, my teacher pointed out that he did not know anything about videogames, but had heard that they are becoming increasingly violent and the studies on the children who play these games have come to astounding findings. Essentially, the argument now is that not only do videogames desensitize youth to violence, but it has come to actually encourage it. Many kids who play lots of violent videogames have a skewed world view where violence is a commen solution. (Not that, you know, all these righteous wars might have something to do with it) Are video games making our world full of serial killers just waiting to snap at any moment?

I don’t think so. I also have to get back to work, so we’ll continue this talk some other time.

By the way, I went to Athena’s social yesterday. It was pretty freaking awful. I do however now know one thing for sure: Latin culture from the ‘80s is NOT my scene.

An Idiot Is Me

Right, remember how I was telling you a while back that I needed to be careful not to be late for work? Well, everything was going according to plan this morning. I left a little late to pick up Erica, but I was making good time. I’m 5 minutes away from work and I’m almost 20 minutes early. Then, suddenly, it occurs to me that I’m thinking about the time I needed to be at the music festival, last Friday. This means, that I am in fact 10 minutes late for my shift. There is a word for occations such as these. That word is fuck.

So, I got in 15 minutes late, and started my shift. I’m on break now. Lord, do I feel like a total moron here. It’s these things, the little things that really get to me. Maybe I shouldn’t let them, I know, stress and all that, but I still feel bad when I allow these things to happen. In the end, I have no one to blame but myself.

While working today, a couple of people came in bringing a whole slew of children in tow. A daycare probably. What really got my ears up however, is one of the guys went into the magazine section with a bunch of the boys and started flipping through the car magazines, and showed the kids what he was looking at. Maybe I don’t get cars. I just couldn’t see the point in it. When you’re 12 years old, you should not care about a damn leather interior. You have other, more important things to worry about, like when you can play tag with your friends and when your next cookie is coming around. It’s bad enough that the majority of us adults spend our lives living in constant want for the next tier of excessive material goods. Hell, I’m as bad, if not worse, then anybody. Shouldn’t kids get a little break from that? Sure, they are going to want toy A or toy B, but there is a distinct difference in that the toys are typically reasonably within reach (usually only a birthday or Christmas away) and that kids tend not to obsess over such things. Adults on the other hand…. Well, who DOESN’T know someone who just goes on and on about one thing or the other, like cars or boats or high powered computers or what have you. Give the kids a break!

Tonight is the social for my friend Athena, who happens to be going to India. She says she’s doing it for her education, but I know it’s really just to give me more reasons to swear at her. Sick, twisted Athena. Thinking about said social made me remember two things: 1) I missed a capoeria social last night and 2) I have double booked myself with a practice for a music festival performance this Sunday.

An idiot is me indeed.

On Food and Theatre

I have a confession. I, an actor, someone who values his personal apperence and is in a bit of a personal conflict with the slight gut that ebbs and flows with the comings and goings of Chirstmas suppers, do not eat particularly well. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I really don't have the time or money to put towards a substantial degree of caring. Therefore, while I will eat healthy when I have the option, usually I'm really not given that option. I'm not the worst person in the world here. I usually eat a decent ammount of healty foods in the day (I'm a fruit nut) and I very recently decided that I would start to eat salad, though I very much dislike it. Regardless of that, I do not eat too well, and the culprit for this would be, more then most things, fast food.

I am a sucker for a quick burger. I'm not particularly fond of McDonalds (makes me violently ill, for many reasons) but Burger King.... Well, let's just say I've had my fair share of Whoppers. I'm also particularly fond of the A&W Steak Burger, but it's rather expensive (and, as my dad pointed out, really just a thick burger with some steak sauce). I do not feel particularly bad about any of this. As I said before, I really don't have enough money to descriminate, and I think I have enough youth and physical activity to just eat everything and let my metabolism sort it out. It will not forever be this way however, so I really have to start watching my diet.... Which is what led me to really get quite pissed off.

What the hell is going on?

When I go to Burger King or McDonalds or Wendy's or what have you, I am not going to delude myself. It is not good-for-you food I am eating. It is fatty, it is fried and it is occationally of questionable quality, but it is also fast and cheap, which is the reason that I'm eating it in the first place. Now however, everybody seems to be about trying to appeal to the health concious eaters. If I understand this correctly, you can get a low cal whopper (which is the patty and lettuce, sans bun or garnishes) now, should you so choose. McDonald's is currently pimping it's low fat menu. Subway has the Atkin's wrap. And you know what? If they put thier diet foods throught the same quality control that they do with their normal stuff, I'm not to sure that what you're getting is actually better for you in the first place.

The Atkin's wrap is a good example (although I will admit that the flaws here are more with the Atkin's diet then the food per-say.) that Rufus pointed out to me. Essentially, it is a really fatty food, with no carbs. What the hell? So, you can eat cheese and eggs and bacon, and this will help your weight? Keep in mind here people, that carbs FEED YOUR BRAIN. YOU NEED THEM. Why deny your body essential food elements? HAS THE WORLD GONE INSANE????

So, I should probably eat better.

The last show I did my sister's now ex-boyfriend complimented my performance. His words were something to the effect of "Wow. It must be really hard to remember all those words." This kind of threw me for a loop. Maybe it's just something that non-actors don't really get. However, memorisation of the words.... That's just the tip of the iceberg. Granted, if you can't do that then you're pretty much DOA, but for a good actor who is trying to build his craft, the words are just the starting point.

You know, I need to get to work. I have a politics essay and I am NOT going to pussy out on doing this one right.

Yipes!

I just relised that it is indeed the 9th. I have an essay due on the 1st. I suck.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Play! It LIVES!

Remeber way back when I was telling you about this play I was writing? Well, I finally wrote the beginning of it. Here it is. The characters don't have names, but at the moment, that's actually really helping me out. Here it is:

Untitled

1- A young woman
2-A young man

1 enters a small, slightly messy apartment. 2 is sitting on a couch, playing Nintendo.

1: What are you doing?
2: Playing Tetris.
1: Well, I can see that this is going to be a fun evening.
2: What’s the matter?
1: Nothing. It’s not like I had anything special today or anything.
2: Oh, right. How was the contest?
1: Could you please at least pause that damn thing while you’re talking to me?
2: You can plug in the other controller if you want to play too.
1: Jesus. No, that’s fine. The contest went fine if you care.
2: ‘Corse I care. You gonna sit down?
1: I’m hungry. (Walks offstage) What are we doing tonight?
2: Nothing. 3 is coming over later.
1: (Re-enters) What? We were supposed to… Shit! You promised!
2: What the hell are you talking about?
1: Never mind. Play your damn game.
2: Hey. I’ve been through a really shitty day today. While you were off at that writing competition, I was running around the city, going insane. Do you have any idea how many assholes live in this place? I had three interviews today. The first guy? Total asshole. Kept asking me questions about my work history with my resume right in front of him. Stupid questions. So, the guy who’s going to hire me to do his monkey work can’t or won’t be bothered to read the damn paper in front of him? So right, asshole. Then, the next guy holds me up an extra 20 minutes so that I miss the last interview. Hell, that’s the job I really wanted.
1: Why didn’t you just leave?
2: I just didn’t, okay? So then, I go over to pick up the groceries and this jerk in front of me in line has like a million items that need to be price checked and he spends an extra couple of hour haggling about some outdated coupons and writing his damn check. I think he saved 2 dollars. Was all that time worth a couple of bucks? I would have given him 5 if he would have just left the damn store. And who the hell writes checks in this age of modern technology? They invented all that convinent technology for a reason you know. Who does that? Assholes, that’s who. I swear to god that there are people who spend their entire lives buying dog who can’t stop barking, cutting people off during rush hour and slowly writing checks while the people waiting oh-so-patiently behind them are developping migraine headaches because they are surrounded by assholes!
1: Are you done?
2: Never.
1: That must be why I love you. So, when are you going to finish up?
2: I’m beating my high score.
1: God, is there anything more pointless?
2: Voting. Could you get me a drink?
1: (Pause) Today I…. (Stops herself) What do you want?
2: Whatever.
1: (Offstage) Where’s the milk?
2: We’re out.
1: Didn’t you get any?
2: I got every last thing on the list.
1: Milk was on the list.
2: Not if it’s not in there.
1: I know I put milk on the list.
2: Maybe the guy in line took so long that it turned into cheese.



What can I say, it's a start. Now, I'm going to play some Starcraft for the first time in a while. Yeahoo friends and old software revivials.

The Worst Audition Yet

Well, for those of you who may be interested, my status as wanna-be actor has recived a strong weight on the wanna-be side of that particular equation. I had an audition with Rainbow Stage, our local semi-pro musical theatre group, and boy oh boy did I suck. I started my song off too high, I was as nervous as hell and I massacred the sight reading part. The worst part about that is the director asked me if I knew "The King and I" (the musical I was auditioning for) and I said yes. After totally screwing up the song, I'm sure he's thinking I'm a bloody liar. I've seen the damn thing! That doesn't mean I'd good at reading the damn music! GWA! It was a nightmare, to the point of half blanking out as I'm attempting to read the music, not even being able to see the words. At this point, I can hope that they saw the potential I have, because otherwise I don't think there was much else to see. Oh, and it didn't help matters that I was sandwiched between two excellent singers in the auditions. Truly, I have never felt so sub-par.

Ignore me. I don't feel that bad, it's just good to bitch every once and a while.

THAT, however, was not the worst audition yet, as you might have inferred from the title of this entry. Oh no, in reminicing about this recent audition, I actually relized I've had a far worse one, and so do not feel nearly as bad. In any case, I stand to have hundreds of bad auditions, so life, it goes on. At this particular audition, I was told to go in for the part of a tour guide, who had to be of asian decent. Since I'm half-Japanese and look somewhat exotic, I figure, hey, what the hell. I get the sides. They want somone REALLY Japanese here. I'm obviously wrong for the part. But whatever, it's an audition, I'll do it anyway. It turns out painfully obvious that I'm not even close to what they want. They are running through the motions for me, but it's getting silly. They ask me to read it again in "my best Japanese accent". I'm dying. Again, I havn't helped myself by wearing my Bat-Man T-shirt. Not my best first impression to be sure. Needless to say, I didn't get that call back. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Speaking of theater, there is a recently advertised summer employment oppertunity with the St. John's Newfoundland Francaphone Association for bilingual theatre students. I'm intrigued. I should in any case probably brush up on my french as it has been a while since I've spoken it.

Erica and I saw School of Rock a little while ago, I'll rant about it later. Short form: It's good!

Monster, Starsky and Hutch and Clerks

I've been busy as of late, hence the lack of posting. What have I been busy with? Well, mostly, movies.

(By the way, I have to make this pretty quick since I'm at work and, god forbid, there is actually some work for me to do. Will the wonders ever cease?)

On Wednesday my acting class went out to see Monster. My comment upon leaving the theater: "One word.... Whoooo." In case you haven't heard, it's based on the true story of a prostitute who became a serial killer in the 80's. In 2002 she was executed for her crimes. Charlize Theron won the Oscar for her portrayal as the lead, and did she ever deserve it. While there is much debate about the actual quality of the movie itself, the performances of Miss Theron and Christina Ricci her co-star make this a movie well worth seeing. A warning however, as it is also amazingly depressing. I personally rank it along with Requiem for a Dream as the most depressing movies I have ever seen. It stays with you, that is for sure.

Last night Erica and I got real productive and both got our passport photos done and went to see Starsky and Hutch on its opening night. We went at 7 and missed the crowd. Was it worth it? Yes. Yes it was. Now, Erica and I are both pretty big Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller fans (Zoolander and Shanghai Nights are both great movies) but we can still be pretty critical on them (The Royal Tenanbaums and The Cable Guy did less then impress). This movie however was a more then adequate show of their comedic talents and their familiarity working with each other really shows. They also balance a quite well done homoerotic tension without overly forcing it upon the audience, i.e. - LOOK. GAY. IT'S A JOKE! While the movie goes for the occasional stupid joke, there is a nice balance of different levels of comedy and it works. On plot, the movie is kind of lacking, although if you've seen any of the other TV-Show-Movie-Remakes, you'll probably have braced yourself for that. Bear in mind, this movie is not Oscar worthy fare like Monster, but you'll feel a lot better in the morning.

Oh, and it has one of the best opening lines ever.
"You cross the line, your balls are mine!"

Finally, after some relaxation, Erica and I watched the last half of Clerks, one of our favorite movies. If you haven't seen Kevin Smith's first film, you have done yourself a great disservice. This movie is funny and smart while maintaining a strong subversive element that allows you to look past the traditional indy-film hallmarks (Black and white film? Long takes?), if that matters to you in the first place.

If you have yet to see Clerks, go and do so NOW. Don't wait, get off your ass and find a copy of the movie. You'll thank me for it. Actually, I would give my recommendations on all three movies, although I would suggest watching the comedies after Monster, as you'll definitely need something to take the edge off after the intensity.

Oh, and a joke.

Knock-knock. Who's there? SHUT THE HELL UP!

A Quick Note On The Family Channel

There is a special kind of crap that only a channel as evil as the Family Channel would see fit to throw upon the world. I'm not saying that all shows on Family suck, just a very high perpotion of them, so much so that I would think that the theories as to the inherent evil of the Disney corperation might have more truth to them then I might otherwise think. Yes. Worse yet, this is a strange brand of crap that my two sisters, my two 16 and 19 year old sisters, seem to be entertained by. What the fucking hell.

Seriously: 90% of the shows on Family Channel seem to think that all you need to do for a joke is have a laugh track. I was just watching this show where the ENTIRE JOKE of a 5-8 minute bit was that it is funny to hit people in the head with shovels. They were also forcing some god-awful parody of children's shows on us (If you've ever seen Treehouse, then you know what I'm talking about here. Or, Blue's Clues.) but the point was kind of lost since the show doing the parody was equally crappy, if in a more condecending way. Erugh. No wonder the world is going to shit. We're subjecting the leaders of tomorrow with absolute crap. I know that real writers who are actually good at creating jokes and entertaining shows tend to ask for the money they deserve, something that penny pinching producers may frown upon. But seriously, if the script sucks the actors are going to have to pull a miracle out of their ass to save it. Everyone is no Will Ferrel after all.

You need an object lesson? Star Wars 1 and 2. Not all the sepcial effects and meaningless fan service in the world could make those movies worth seeing again. The world weeps.

On the otherhand, strangely, I'm actually finding Spike TV to be rather entertaining most of the time. When I do watch TV, 90% of the time I'm watching Spike. (Or A&E. Law and Order, baby! BUM-BUM! Oh yeah.) I'm surprised at my liking the channel for a couple of reasons. First of all, I really hate thier advertising. No thank you, I would rather not be lumped in with the stupid-macho-asshole variety of my gender. This whole catering to the lowest commen denominator is bullshit. Also, back when it was TNN (or as I liked to call it, The Dukes of Hazzard and Rodeo SUPERSTATION! Guarenteed to make rednecks ovulate on the spot!) I avoided it like the plague. Strangly however, the original programming they produce (with the exception of the Rapper-Car show that they have) is pretty high quality and worth a watch. MXC, Oblivious and the quite excellent Joe Shemo Show come to mind. Will the wonders ever cease?

Before I leave you, an apology concering the Wrestling rants. They are not very good, but I'm positive there is a quality essay in there. We'll see if it ever produces itself.

Now, Erica and I have to catch the opening of Law and Order. Who will find the body today? BUM-BUM!

On Wrestling (Part 3- The End)

Yes. So here I am, the middle of high school, and I’ve started to become a bit of a wrestling nut. I have a favorite wrestler (Taka Michinoku), least liked wrestler (X-Pac) and an ever expanding knowledge on wrestling in general. I find that I am not alone. For a couple of months, getting together at my friend Mike’s place to watch Raw is a pretty regular event, one that suddenly just dies out. I’m also finding new wrestling sites. While I’m still reading IGN, I’m also pretty big on Wrestleline, part of the Sportsline websites. It is a good time for wrestling. The year is 2000. The millennium approaches.

At this point, I’ve also seen a fair bit of WCW, the WWF’s rival. Both companies have two A shows (Raw and Smackdown on the WWF side, and Nitro and Thunder for WCW) and several syndicated B-shows. Since my family has an advanced cable package, there’s quite a lot of wrestling on the TV. While as a rule Raw is the only show I see on a regular basis, on some weeks I could catch Raw on the Monday, Nitro (on replay) on the Tuesday, Thunder on Wednesday and Smackdown on Thursday. If the week was to be very wrestling saturated, I could watch one of the syndicated shows on Saturday and top the week off (or begin it I suppose) with WWF Sunday Night Heat. That’s a lot of wrestling. A lot of variety. A lot of fun. In the years since then, the WWF (now WWE) have bought the competition. WCW was shut down, with only a few b and c level wrestlers coming over to the WWF. ECW, the third and final ‘major’ player went bankrupt and folded, only later to have its assets (and two of its biggest remaining stars) bought by the WWF. In the matter of a few years, wrestling became a monopoly. And I was there for that.

Some time during 2000, I received an email from (apparently) Doink the clown, an old WWF wrestler who was, shockingly, a clown. Figuring it was just more silly junk-mail, but hey, what the hell, I opened it. Inside was a recommendation to check out this website, RandomWrestling.com. I did, and found an interesting site. Instead of the wrestling news and results sites I had previously read, here was a wrestling satire site. Not only were there intelligent people who watched wrestling, but there were also intelligent people not afraid to make fun of everything and everyone associated with it. It was genuinely funny stuff, and it became a regular site for me. Then, one day, the site had a contest for readers to submit an entry for the wrestler they would have picked to replace Owen Hart at the pay-per-view Over The Edge. (This was, somewhat ironically, the pay-per-view where Owen fell to his death during a decent to the ring from the rafters. His security devices released him, starting a long court case and a series of inquiries into what could have caused such a thing to happen. The guys at Random, ever irreverent and equally tasteless, maintained that Owen was killed by Shane McMahon, son the WWF owner Vince) My entry was picked to go up to the final vote, where readers chose a final winner. I didn’t win, but later that year I did receive an email from the webmaster of Random. He informed me that he was starting a sister site, wrestling opinions, and that he would like me to try my hand at writing for it, if I was interested. I said I was. So began my career as in internet wrestling writer.

I did it because I enjoyed writing, but also because I wanted to work on comedy. Could I be funny? On a regular basis? Wrestling Opinions, in the end, was not a success. Most of the writers were awful (several of them were immediately “fired” upon their first post) and the readership was not amazing. While not the best writer on the site, I was probably one of the most consistent. As a few good writers began to distinguish themselves from the pack, they were quickly “graduated” to Random. I was the third. Then, I was sent back to give Wrestling Opinions leadership. And back and forth…. I could go on for a while here, but it’s not terribly interesting. In the end, I wrote probably over a hundred pages worth of wrestling materiel. Most of it was decent, some better, some worse. I ignited controversy with my opinions on 9/11. I made people laugh with some articles about Hulk Hogan. I got me writing, and it was good for it’s time. But, I burnt out. Not only on the writing, but also on the wrestling.

With the monopolization, wrestling simply wasn’t as good as it used to be. The WWF got lazy, and the shows began to run on cruise control. My enthusiasm faded with the descending quality, and eventually, I went weeks without watching a show. I wasn’t the only one. The WWF’s ratings and stock fell to sad lows, not aided at all by the loss of a law suit to the World Wildlife Foundation (hence, WWE) and the abysmal XFL. Maybe I’ve grown out of it. Maybe I was in too deep, to fast, for too long. Maybe it’s simply time for me to move on. Maybe….. but I haven’t given up hope. Hope that things will turn around, that the storylines will get better, and that the wrestlers will strike gold again. That I can feel that feeling that I felt when I was a child, and later, when I was in high school. That special quality. That…. Magic.

I want to feel that magic one more time.

I’m waiting for it.


Oh, and how is work you ask? Well, I’m feeling a little paranoid today. I don’t know… Ever since my manager came in and had that meeting with me, I have the distinct feeling that my every move is being watched, monitored. It’s actually making me feel like I’m a bad person or something. Like I’m getting all these disapproving looks because I’m, you know, a bad egg. For someone who spent most of their time growing up being told what a nice polite guy he is, well, it’s a little uncomfortable. Perhaps the looks have something to do with the fact I spend huge amounts of time writing in this blog. Well, so what. It’s not like there’s any work to do. :P

I should get going. Party tonight!

Printer Ink 'Aint Cheap

So, I printed off the blog the other day. Formatted to an 8pt font and making extra space, I ended up with an almost 40-page monster. Has it been that much already? Holy crap. That's really all I have to say. In a way it makes me happy because it indeed proves that I have the ability to write. I can write a lot. And after reading the whole thing during some spare time at school, for the most part I can write well. Or at the very least, acceptably.

What kind of bums me out is that I have yet to turn this ability towards anything that I feel is worth doing. My play? Still in limbo. Essays for school? Obviously, I can't get started on those things until I have the devil himself breathing fire on my ass. Arg. It's really starting to annoy me. It's funny too: The play has taken some diffrent shapes in my head, and the last one has centred around impotence. While the whole video game/tetris thing is still there, it's more about the family. The dad obviously is impotent in the most traditional sense. There's a minister who cannot preach. The writer who cannot write. Stuff like that. Well, here I am. The playwrite who cannot write a damn play.

I think I'm much more neurotic then I normally would allow myself to belive. It's come to my attention lately that there are more and more things that annoy me to no end. Chap Stick. I lothe the sound of that word. Why? I'll be damned if I know. Weird stuff like that. Am I alone in stupid things like that? I don't think I should be, but you never know. Maybe I'm just some crazy freak.

I printed off the first couple of pages from the Miniature's Handbook (a D&D) book. My printer ink did not last long. Shhhhh... Don't tell.

Interesting weekend ahead. I'm throwing my birthday do on the Saturday. That should be fun. On the Sunday, I've double booked myself with work and practice for the music festival. I seriously need to get my head together. Why do I keep on doing this shit?

An Aside

Let’s break away from wrestling for a quick update:

So, I’ve been doing this martial art, Capoeira, one which is starting to gain some fame now. In case you didn’t know, it’s from Brazil, developed by the black slaves and disguised as a dance. Break dancing draws it’s roots from it: It is very unlike many martial arts. Whereas in Karate (in which I have a solid background) you attempt to create the strongest base possible with the ground in order to have the strongest technique. In Capoeira, you instead learn to be fast and flowing, many of the moves involving inversion and flips. Instead of developing a sparring technique, you learn the “game”, a roda, where you exchange moves with your opponent to the rhythm of the drum and your classmate’s clapping. If you have not seen it, I do suggest checking it out as if anything it is quite the sight to see.

Anyway, I had a class yesterday for the first time in a month (due to the play) which has resulted in blood blisters all over my feet this morning. Ouch. Apparently working on a play lets your feet soften up a bit. How was I to know? It’s been a strange day, hobbling around and generally looking like I’ve got a pole shoved up my ass. The worst part of the whole part and parcel is that I have only myself to blame. What can be done about this then? Bitching!

I joined blogs Canada, as evidenced by the button over to the side there. So, if you’re visiting from there, welcome and salutations. I hope I can lure you back for next time, when I have something worthwhile to say. And hey, if there’s something you want me to talk about, feel free to send me a message or at least leave a comment. I aim to please, or for your head, whichever involves less work.

I’m watching Junkyard Mega Wars at the moment: KNB, ILM and the Jim Henson Workshop are building robots to kill aliens. I love this show. Although, as an aside, what is with all these ‘upgraded’ versions of shows? Super Millionaire for example: What’s the matter with normal millionaire? Or, on the other end, what will make ‘Super”millionaire suck less?

I’m just not hip with the kids these days I guess. Anyway, big day tomorrow. Must limp over to bed.

On Wrestling (Part 2)

Where was I?

So, early high school, I'm like many people, a wrestling hater, and for (I will even now admit) good reasons. Wrestling is stupid, pointless and sexist. In fact, it's so stupid pointless and sexist that it often does things that I can not defend, nor would even attempt to. (Recent storylines involving necrophilia, objectification of women and a 60 year old man getting married in his underwear come to mind) The acting is awful, and the fans mostly stupid, ignorant and generally not considered high quality human beings. Oh, and the rampant pro-America stuff is ridiculous. But.... there's more to it then that. That is what I later found out.

I was sick. Or I couldn't sleep. Both. It doesn't really matter. For whatever reason, I couldn't get to sleep and found myself spending many hours laying on the basement rec-room couch (my room is in the basement, so it's not a long trip) watching whatever I could find on TV worth watching. And that is not a whole hell of a lot. In a way, it was the reverse of my first brush with wrestling. Instead of waking up early and watching wrestling while waiting for more cartoons, I was staying up late, attempting to sleep, watching wrestling to pass the time. It started with a party at my friend Justin's (probably my third longest running friendship in Winnipeg, behind Dylan (who I actually haven't seen in a couple of years) and Rajat) house, where we played this game, WrestleMania 2000. I'd played wrestling games before, but always as a joke. Justin and his brother however were big fans, and so told me about all the characters in the game, who sucked, who was cool, who had the best moves. I made my own character to play (The Amazing Ooknabah, which is indeed a story for another day) and a little bit of that magic I saw as a kid surfaced again.

There was drama. Excitement. Ridiculous moves that amazed the crowd. It was fun. And so, those nights later on, when I recognized some faces on the flickering box as characters that I had beaten the crap out of at Justin's place, I decided to see what was going on. And while I watched, the announcers recapped other happenings of the weeks past, occasionally showing clips between the matches. Little did I know (or care) I was watching the WWE syndicated shows, where all their C-level talent was, waiting for a chance to be called up to the big leagues, the prime-time shows.

What was originally a chance occurrence became a habit. I watched the shows and took a liking to the product. It was like martial arts, dance and theatre all put together in this amusing pantomime of actual combat. The fights, while obviously not real, required a great deal of physical ability. These people worked out, steroid involvement or not, and there was some serious feats of strength and agility being performed here. And some of the moves- Woah. The gravity defying flips and flops, summersaults in mid-air... That was my favorite part. The good ones, they could make this fight, this savagery, look like art, like poetry.

Plus, it was really fucking cool.

I don't know what game next. The internet, or the prime-time wrestling. Whichever it was, I started drinking in wrestling. I taped it, I read about it, and I learned so much. Within months I knew most of the wrestler's real names, let alone the names of the moves, their past histories and the trials and tribulations of the sport itself. IGNwresling was my favorite site, giving reviews to the shows (if I missed that week) which I eventually read religiously, along with news posts and editorials, funny insightful pieces of writing. The internet told me that I was not alone: Smart people actually watched wrestling. Not only that, some of them devoted hours to it, some their lives. I didn't have to feel like a freak, and I didn't have to feel alone. I was not alone. I was among good company.

I had just started dating Erica at this point. Early on, she had mentioned wrestling as being something she strongly disliked. I did too.... But now I had changed. What to tell her? How could I break it to her that I watched it? That I read about it?

Or that I had just begun writing about it?

Tomorrow, the finale.

Oh, and I'm an ass, I know. I promised web-site developments, and I lied. Shoot me. In the face. I deserve it. But I have been thinking about things to do, and I have some ideas that require so little work, I might actually be able to pull them off. I still have a links sidebar on this blog that needs some work. I'm thinking of pulling together a list of all the stuff I've talked about in the blog so that people can browse it if they want to find an old post without looking through the archives one by one, or if they want to see all my opinions on, say, videogames. I'm also thinking of making some graphics for this blog, since as it stands it is mostly a whole schlock of text, which most people don't particularly feel like slogging through. A picture here and there should give it some pizzazz. Maybe I'll see if Joel could lend me a hand here....

Yesterday, I bought a palm pilot (Palm Zire for those who care) for 102$. (cheap for a palm! Usually they range from 150-350$ on the low end!) Then, I walked into Best Buy, found the same palm for 58$, and almost had an stroke. I ended up having to drive across the city for it, but I picked one up. Huzzah! Can't do much better then that.

Should be an interesting night tonight. My family is coming over for my birthday, and afterwards I'm gaming with the boys. Sleep? Who needs sleep? Not me! Ahahahahaha... ha.. gah.... oh, I'm such an idiot.

Anyway, that's enough for today. School starts tomorrow. BWAH!

On Wrestling (Part One)

I mentioned a few months back I'd talk about this: I figured I better get it out of the way while I'm thinking about it. Why am I thinking about it? Well, Erica has finally resigned herself to the fact, that I, her boyfriend, enjoys the weird and wacky world of professional wrestling, something that stands for many of her greatest hates in the world. Fair enough. She is dealing though: Just the other night she saw a wrestler on TV and asked me who it was. It was sarcastic, but also a show that she is not ignoring it. It is, more or less, a fact of life.

Truth be told, I go back quite a ways with the wrestling. When I was little, I would wake up early in the mornings (and by this, I mean in the neighborhood of 5 am!) in order to see my favorite TV shows (which, obviously, were not on until about 9-10) I knew I was waking up too early, but my rationale was that it was better I be early then be late. And so, quietly as possible in the living room, possibly with some forbidden ice-cream, or perhaps some freezies, I would watch the flickering TV and search desperately for something, anything, that was not a.... grown-up show. As a general rule, if it wasn't animated, then it wasn't on my TV. This led to some conflicts of interest. Believe it or not, there isn't a lot of animation (well at least back then before dedicated animation channels... Oh, the memories) on TV at 6 in the morning. I watched a lot of 'School House Rock', which I don't actually like.

There were exceptions to the real-people rule. There was this science guy who I would watch a lot (although watch is essentially all I did: Empowered by youth though I was, I still didn't have the ability to retain information at 5 in the morning) and there was this other guy (from the 70's? You can always tell by the grainy video quality) who would teach you lessons, like how stage punches work, or not to tell jokes over and over if people don't laugh at the punch line. As you can see, my personality was shaped and molded by these early years. So, while I attempted to watch as much cartoons as possible, there was only so much Captain N, My Favorite Monster (bad example... I hated that show!) and Wish Kid (starring the kid from Home Alone! He had this baseball glove that could grant wishes! And... Never mind.) to go around. So, sometimes I would watch other things. The other exception was wrestling.

(As a side note, I could probably write long involved posts about all of those... Yipes!)

Now, unlike some, my family has always been firmly anti-wrestling. I was told it was fake (which took me a couple of years to decide for myself) and that it was garbage. (My parents who recently found out that I watch wrestling regularly are ecstatic) I would still watch it though. I wasn't crazy about Hulk Hogan, or the Macho Man (although I knew who they were), I was always a fan of the crazy high flyers, like Aldo Montya and Sparky Plugg. (Both of whom I would later find out were some of the worst wrestling characters ever. In fact, there is a site devoted to them and their ilk. What can I say? My taste as a kid sucked.) We never ordered the pay-per-views, and my watching was not regular, but I would watch the syndicated shows and be amazed by these colorful characters flying around the ring, engaged in this constant battle to pin the other's shoulders to the mat. I saw Bret Hart, the Canadian Superstar, the best there was, the best there is and the best there ever will be battle with the evil Jerry Lawler. I saw Bob Baucklund lose the WWF title to Diesel in a match that lasted mere seconds. I saw that and so much more. And then, I stopped watching. Not because of the wrestling, but because I was no longer getting up so early to watch cartoons. Or really, watching all those cartoons to begin with. Don't get me wrong, I still watch cartoons today, I just suddenly realized that like most things, 90% of them were crap, and I would be better served with sleep.

Little did I know that wrestling was entering rough times. The WWF was making attempts to build itself up higher, but failing. It had attempted a spin off, the World Bodybuilding Network (three guesses on how that turned out) and was on a downward spiral. It's chief rival, WCW, in a few years would overtake it. Years went by, and I watched no wrestling to speak of. And then suddenly, the Monday Night Wars began and wrestling was as mainstream as ever. I wasn't there however.

During the Monday Night Wars (when both the WWF and WCW's flagship shows started competing head to head, causing leaps and bounds in the product put forth by both shows) I had became on the many, the detractors. Wrestling, obviously, was stupid, sexist, and pointless. Anyone who watched it was an idiot or a hick. Oh, and those stupid catch phrases? What's up with that? I don't care what the Rock is cooking. Or what Stone Cold says. You, Mr. wrestling T-shirt wearing idiot, are a fool. Go away. Bury yourself in a hole. God willing, we will never see you again. Bah!

Not as much of an exaggeration there as you might think.

But then..... Well, you'll see next post.

By the way, I went out with Erica, Rufus and Erin (a friend from University, Rufus has known her since High school) last night. We got some pizza (Thai Chicken Pizza at Boston Pizza, is, sadly, sub-par), played some video games (Def Jam Vendetta for one surprisingly- If there's anything Erica is against more then wrestling, it's wrestling AND gangster rappers) and saw a MST3K- Gunslinger. It's a good one, so check it out!

Now, the computer is required. Away!

So, Who Knows Someone Who Wants To Make More Money?

(Now edited for amazing formatting errors! And then again for grammer! I SUCK!)

A friend of mine invited me over for a "business" opportunity yesterday. He couldn't tell me any more then that, so naturally, I was a little suspicious. Drugs? Maybe. Well, I agreed to go over, so I would soon find out. And did I ever. If only it had been drugs.

So, what do you do when your friend is in a pyramid scheme?

Quixtar.com is a website where you can buy anything: The clothes you wear, the toothpaste you use, the toilet paper in your bathroom. Join this particular organization, and you can buy items from Quixtar at a substantial discount. Then, get more people to do the same (Why not? It's stuff they already use!!!) and you start to MAKE MONEY. Yes, that's right. This company will send you a check every month for getting other people to buy the things they already buy!!!!!

Sound familiar? My parents said it did. You see, while this company (Quixtar) is only about 5 years old, Amway, a non-internet version of this service (they own Quixtar), has been around for decades: They got essentially the same spiel I did over 25 years ago. Needless to say, they didn't bite and sadly my family is not earning over 250,000$ in 'residual' money/year. Oh, but we could be! In 2-5 years! At the very least, in 6 months I could be earning 3000$ a month with the program. Sounds good, doesn't it? Maybe a little too good?

I have a half written post that I did immediately after the meeting, but it's a little too harsh. Amway (and Quixtar) is considered a legal enterprise, and when I confronted Brett (the friend involved) he told me as much in his defense. That does not mean however that I approve. No, not at all! First of all, the meeting itself was ridiculous. I get to Brett's house to find it swimming with people, a few I recognize. It turns out that the ones I recognize are those being sold into the program: The rest of them are already in it. So, we have about 7 people who are not yet into the system, and about 8-9 that are not. Now, we didn't know this right off the bat, they just all happen to be there. The atmosphere is already shaky, and my warning sirens are blasting at full volume. On top of that, Brett is wearing a shirt and tie. This is not Brett. Something wicked this way comes.

One of these people I don't know starts up the presentation. And suddenly, I'm in an infomercial. STUPID questions abound: "Who here would like to make more money?" "If I offered you 3000$, would you take it?" "Ask yourself: What's better, cheap or free??" The best part: These lackies, those people already part of the program are sitting, nodding along, smiling and laughing with the presentation. I had this serious cult-vibe going on, more so when the leader of the crew arrived (some 30-year-old guy) and just sat behind us, watching. The retoric was amazing. I have never imagined such ridiculous implications being shot at me in real life: Am I a weenie? Or a WINNER? Am I a sucker? Am I stupid? No, of course not! And If I don't think the system is a good idea, that's okay. Not everyone is ready to put in a little hard work for big earnings. Not everyone is smart enough. You see what I'm getting at here?????

So, the guy runs down the plan for us: Essentially, you buy all your stuff from this website and get other people to do so. When other people do so, you get money. The more people who do so, the more money you get. On top of that, if those other people get more people to do this, you get even more money, so it is in your best interest to get people motivated and going. THIS IS NOT A PYRAMID SCHEME! (Except it is.) The problem here (that required a few questions to get out of our presenter) is that you're not actually saving money by buying stuff from this website. Now, the money you will get (eventually) pays for the cost of these items, except for that to happen, you have to have a lot of people under you, and they too have to be buying for you to receive any gain. On top of this, you get a point total for the amount of consumption underneath you in the pyramid which is calculated monthly. If you want to go up in the pyramid (and you do, you HAVE to if you want to make money!) you need to increase the amount of consumption. I did some rough figures in my head: To reach the first level you need to have thousands of dollars a month being spent underneath you every month.

This is capitalism at its worst: Consumption is the key and you can NEVER have enough. And I'm sorry, this buying to make money is not sensible. I'm not saying it's impossible to get money through the system, but it's not a very smart way to do it. (Well, that is, unless you're on top)

This is a blog written by a man formerly associated with Quixtar. It takes a neutral stance, which in refreshing, as most other sites are either super pro or con Quixtar. In my mind however, if you have so much differing opinion, then you know that the truth is somewhere in the middle. In any case, I'm not going to trust my money to something that falls between my wildest dreams and Satan's pit of despair.

And who the fuck doesn't know people who want to make money? Stop asking the damn question!!!

Happy Birthday To..... (Psst! Line???)

So, I'm 21. Holy freaking shizniat. Or something along those lines. So, I guess I'm officially, worldwide, considered an adult. Yikes and cripes. I really don't know what to make of all that.

Oh, the loot: I got Super Smash Brothers, a Nintendo Shirt (thank you sisters) and a bunch of clothes from Erica. Her parents gave me the best of Mike Myers and 25th Anniversary SNL DVD and Rikki gave me the 'Nerd Book', this great binder for all my D&D stuff. So yes, life is good. I did not however get a palm pilot, which is understandable. So, I should really look for something to replace my lond dead one... Eliot offered me to use his, but I refused. I'm starting to feel like that was a very stupid thing to do. Oh well, principles and all that shit.

Erica and I watched both X-2 and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom yesterday while working on our plan for the trip to Scotland. X-2 was still awesome, but Temple of Doom.... Well, it's definitly the weakest of the three movies. Not only does it definitly try too hard (you can only take so much "Oh god! That's gross!" kind of stuff for so long) but there are plot holes a plenty. Not that they are absent from the other two films, but you're so into the action mindset that it never really matters. With Temple however.... It's just too bizzare. The female interest is more annoying then anything, the kid sidekick, while cute, feels forced, and the turns of events that lead to the action feel more contrived then lucky. Oh well.

I probably should have more to write about, but I'm really feeling... burnt out at the moment. What you gonna do?

Blag!

Ouch. I got to have a meeting with my head manager at work today, and I kind of got chewed out. Not like I didn't deserve it or anything, but it still kind of tripped me up a little bit. It's my fault, I know, I should take work more seriously, and I will not, but... arg. I don't know. For a minute while I'm sitting there in the staff room, listening to him talk to me, I ponder on if I should tell him what is really the matter. That I have nothing to do at this place, that I feel like I could do all the work I'm supposed to do in four hours in two. That I need this money, but I really don't appreciate the damage to my mental health that is being done, as I guiltily fuck around, reading magazines in the corner while I wish for the fabric of time to accelerate and give me something to do. I know I'm not alone in this. Hell, most of the people above me have even less to do. The difference is that they are behind a desk, so if they kill time by surfing the internet while they wait for someone to need them at least they look like they are working. If I come in and use the workstation in the office, not only do I feel like I am keeping someone from using the computer to do something of worth, but also that I'm missing something.

Do you think I would be fired if some of the big-wigs read this? Apparently I am on the door step to a disciplinary meeting. Would they do that? Send someone out (maybe one of my co-workers... It would give them something to do!) to scour the internet, attempting to pull up anything about me? Perhaps searching for posts bragging to my fellow 20-something slackers about how I'm sticking it to the man?

20-something.... I really am now a 20-something. That is freaking scary. Shouldn't I be famous right now? Famous while I'm young and have this beautiful life to parade and showboat and end quickly and tragically in an explosion of love and passion and misguided enthusiasm? Should not my legacy have at the very least already begun? If my life were to end tomorrow, it would be the sad tale of a couple of plays and useless jobs. That's not a very interesting story, is it? Blag. I'm really in a mood.

Happy belated Valentine's Day. Erica and I celebrated by seeing people at Veronica's potluck party (V's V-Day Party) and then watching Lost in Translation. Now I have a list of about 5 people to lend that movie to. It was nice: Don't tell anyone, but I like Valentine's day. So does Erica, but that's a secret.

There are 45 minutes left of my shift. I have about 10 minutes of work left. In a perfect world, I could have come in 35 minutes late today, and because I got my work done, all would be well. I suppose the world is far from perfect.